Are you a “peacekeeper” or “peacemaker”?

I was recently reading a story about a man who grew up in a family that did not like conflict so they would avoid it. He then married a woman who was the opposite. He went to see a counsellor and as he explained what was happening in his house, he told the counsellor he was the “peacemaker” in the family. The counsellor listened and, at the end, said to the man, “actually you are not a peacemaker, you are a peacekeeper. A peacekeeper keeps things the way they are. A peacemaker is willing to face the issues and do the hard work to make the peace”.

That has been a game- changing thought for me because I am a peacekeeper. I don’t like conflict so I avoid it. Well, have you ever noticed that when the United Nations send their peacekeepers to a country in conflict, the people behave better? But as soon as the troops leave, the country erupts into problems again. Why? Because all they did was keep the peace! They didn’t necessarily go into that country to resolve what started the conflict in the first place.

So, as a peacekeeper, I would walk away from issues but my spirit was still stewing in it because what happened or what was said wasn’t right. It then makes you develop a passive aggressive attitude because you are vexed about it days, weeks, months, years later. Of course one day you randomly erupt at the person (s) involved because of that problem back then.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers”. He didn’t say the “peacekeepers”. How powerful is that! Jesus knew it takes a spirit of wisdom and love to make peace. So how did he do it? Look at how he dealt with his disciples squabbling over who would be the greatest (Luke 22 vs 24-27). Or the scribes and Pharisees when they criticized him and his disciples. In some cases he didn’t respond right away, like the time they brought the woman before him for adultery (John 8). When he responded, it was always with wisdom and grace. Very rarely did he react in anger.

So, to be a peacemaker, we need that same spirit of wisdom and grace. I am learning I don’t have to avoid conflict. Maybe just walk away to give myself time to assess the situation and then respond Ultimately in learning to make peace – my spirit feels good.

Are you a peacekeeper or a peacemaker because “Blessed are the peacemakers”!