How often do you use the word “can’t”?

Be so careful of this word “can’t”. It can be dangerous!

– Someone calls you to go and grab some dinner. You say “so sorry but I can’t”.
– Or you see that beautiful hotel in a faraway country online but you “can’t visit right now”.

Do not get me wrong, I am not talking about the “can’t” where you do not have the health or the money to do something.

It is the “can’t” we use as an excuse for not doing something.

This is a very dangerous “can’t”! Why? It is the one that is often laced with regret at a later date. So many people during the lockdown with COVID expressed sorrow that there were things they could have done but they made excuses not to do. There were family visits they regretted not making or travel they regretted not doing when it was possible.

It is teaching me to reframe what I say; that “can’t” is only when I am truly unable to do it. The truth of my excuse is really “I don’t want to”. So we make it simple, either we can do something…or we don’t want to! That way, in facing this truth we minimize looking back at missed opportunities with regret.